|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 9, 2007 20:52:40 GMT -5
Gavin blushed again at the slightly teasing tone in Will's voice. Still, even though it was teasing, it was a nice sort of teasing. Grinning sheepishly, Gavin reached a hand up to scratch the back of his own head. "Um, sorry I was just kinda... nervous. I babble when I get nervous." He didn't really know why he was admitting his nervousness, except perhaps that it was better for William to know he was nervous than to think he was insane. Sure, he might be just a little bit insane, as he still hadn't figured out what had snapped in his head that was allowing him to be so attracted to another guy, but he had come to the decision that it was an insanity he enjoyed. One good thing was that the more time passing since the kiss, the calmer he was getting. He felt like he could speak and make sense now, and he wasn't nearly as scared as he had been a few minutes before. His comfort levels were rising. "Sorry again. For not making sense." He added, glad that he had control over the words coming out of his mouth again.
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 9, 2007 22:55:35 GMT -5
It actually made Will somewhat happy to know that Gavin was nervous. Well, at least he figured that it was he who caused the other boy to be nervous, and perhaps it was even in a good way. At least, a good way for him. If he made Gavin nervous than maybe Gavin really did like him a lot. Or, at least for Will, he got nervous easily around someone he liked. He hadn't so much earlier with Gavin because he hadn't know Gavin liked him. At all. But, now that he already knew him, well, it was difficult to be nervous. Not that he would want to be nervous, because he hated feeling nervous. And he hated when a situation was out of his control. But, Will could see that Gavin was a little less freaked at the moment than he had been...after the kiss. Will bit his lip again,"Don't be sorry for not making sense. Maybe you did make sense and I just didn't get it," he suggested with a shrug. It almost seemed like they were going back to the cycle... and he wondered why.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 9, 2007 23:08:55 GMT -5
"Nah... I really didn't make sense. I don't even know what I was talking about." Gavin admitted, still grinning sheepishly. Will seemed a little less happy than he had been a moment ago. Maybe he'd noticed the fact that this particular conversation was going the same way a lot of their others had gone. Awkward, then joking. He might be afraid the cycle was starting again. Gavin made a decision right then to break the cycle and not let the awkward come back. He decided to do this by simply ending the conversation altogether. And how to do that better than by kissing him? He wasn't sure kissing him right now would be the best plan, because Will did seem a little bit unhappy, but he decided to try it anyway. He closed the distance between them once again and pressed his lips against Will's. This time he didn't pull away.
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 9, 2007 23:45:33 GMT -5
Will smiled, his lips still being pressed down. Well, at least whatever it was that Gavin had said hadn't made sense to Gavin either. Unless, of course, Gavin was just trying to be nice to him. Will, often, didn't get things. It wasn't that he was stupid, he was just a little out of it at times. But, he really didn't think that Gavin would say that just to make him feel better. Will realized now that what Gavin had said really was very confusing. So, he wasn't as out of it as he thought. Especially because he knew that Gavin had noticed the reoccurring cycle, thing, whatever it was, was happening again. Will was hoping it wouldn't, but it definitely wasn't. He didn't want to do anything too drastic, and just make things worse. He was just wanting something to break the silence, when Gavin's lips were upon his once more. Will expected Gavin to draw back again, but when he didn't, he kissed him right back. He placed his hand on Gavin's shoulder, kissing him even more deeply. He once again didn't want to freak Gavin out again, but he really wanted this.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 10, 2007 0:04:22 GMT -5
Gavin paused momentarily when Will deepened the kis slightly, then managed to get over his nervousness and deepened it on his part too. He still couldn't really believe he was kissing another guy, but the more he did, it the more he found he enjoyed it. In fact, he found that he was enjoying this kiss more than any he'd shared witha girl int he past. He wasn't really sure if this was because he was kissing a guy, or just because he was kissing Will. He suspected it might be the latter. After a little while, he hesitantly brough a hand up to the back of Will's head. He didn't know why it made him nervous to do that, but it did. Maybe just because he was extremely nervous about everything he did around William. That would certainly explain a few things.
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 10, 2007 21:22:44 GMT -5
He could feel him hesitate when he'd gotten more into the kiss, but that could only be expected. Will knew that it was a whole new experience for him, and understood if he didn't want to kiss him back. But, alas he could feel Gavin get more into the kiss as well. IN some ways, he was proud of him. That was an odd thing to think, but it was true. Gavin was getting over everything he thought he wanted, and finding out what he really did want. And, Will had to admit that he wasn't a bad kisser for being so hesitant and nervous about it at first. Although, he could even sense his averseness as he raised his hand to Will's head, though Will wasn't much paying attention to that at the moment. He hadn't been kissed in so long, and the fact that the first one he'd gotten in a long time was from the only person he could ever want to share it with. At least, that he knew so far. Will had to pull back, though kept his head near Gavin's. "Hey," he said softly,"if it bothers you being with a guy, my hair makes me look enough like a girl..." he said with a small smirk and a shrug.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 10, 2007 21:30:25 GMT -5
Gavin gave a slightly nervous laugh and grinned up at him. "Very true. Plus, need I remind you that you have a very girly laugh?" He was glad that despite what had happened they could still joke. Maybe things wouldn't change too much even with the events of the past few minutes. Sure, they would change, but perhaps the changes would only be good ones rather than bad ones. In fact, it already seemed like quite a bit of the frequent awkwardness between them was lessening. That was a definite change for the better. And the fact that his feelings were out in the open now? Another very good change. It would definitely take a lot of getting used to, but he knew he would be happy to let himself get used to it. Besides, he had to admit, Will DID look a little like a girl. In a manly way of course.
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 12, 2007 20:45:26 GMT -5
Yes, of course Will remembered that he had a girlish laugh, one that's he'd been forced to live with his entire life. Not to mention the fact that Gavin had already made fun of him enough the previous night, although he was still quite surprised he could remember that much. Though, it hadn't truly hurt him, it was still in his nature to pretend so. He pouted and crossed his arms. With a surly face told him,"It's not that girly." Will knew that he was actually quite a girly looking guy. It was more than just his laugh that made him so obviously feminine. He'd been told many times that if he had breasts, he had a body any model would kill for. Now, that wasn't the most assuring thing a guy could hear. Though, he had never been very masculine, even from the time he was young boy, it still wasn't his favorite thing to hear that he looked a lot like a girl, even though he knew it was kind of true. But, if it made Gavin more comfortable about the new situation he'd found himself in, well, Will didn't mind.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 12, 2007 21:13:23 GMT -5
"You're right. It isn't that girly." Gavin replied fairly. He knew he was only humoring William, and the little smile on his face gave that fact away, but he said it anyway. It wasn't really that William looked like a girl exactly. He had delicate features, that was true, but not entirely in a feminine way. He could definitely see girls basically falling at Will's feet, if he'd been into them. It certainly wasn't the slight girlyness that attracted Gavin anyway. Truth be told, he had no idea what it was about Will that he found so damn... what was a good word for it? Any word that just referred to him physically didn't fit. Gavin supposed he could sort of refer to him as intoxicating. That seemed to fit the way being around him made Gavin feel. Almost like he was drunk. He couldn't quite control himself, and he did stupid things, but it was all somehow still a great time.
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 12, 2007 21:40:42 GMT -5
Will could see the smile peaking on Gavin's face, and couldn't help but to let one creep up on his own face. Of course, he'd known Gavin was joking. That was kind of obvious. At least, he though it was. But, pretending to be hurt by it was just something he would naturally do. And, he liked to see Gavin's smile slowly work it's way onto his face. He found it oddly adorable. That was the thing about Gavin. Will had no idea why he was so attracted to him. He wouldn't normally be hid type. Well, at least what he'd though his 'type' was. It could easily have changed over the past few years. Or, maybe only over the past two days. When he'd met Gavin. He was, of course, adorable. And, simply the fact that he was sure that he could have him made him all the more appealing, and when he realized he could... well that was basically a dream come true. If, he really did even have him. That was something they needed to talk about. Will uncrossed his arms and gave a small, nervous laugh that came out as more of just one short sound. He looked at the ground and then at Gavin. He coughed slightly before beginning. "So, what does this..." he paused, hoping Gavin new what 'this' meant. "What does this mean for...us?" Us, was there an 'us'? Or was it just... not really important to Gavin.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 12, 2007 21:58:09 GMT -5
That question came a little sooner than Gavin probably would have liked, and he couldn't prevent the tiny frown from crossing his features. He was still getting used to the idea about even having feelings for a guy. Now he had to think about whether they would be a couple? That was a toughy. Gavin had always been one to prefer to not get too involved with a person. He had been the sort of guy that had a lot of flings and very few relationships. Plus the relationships he did have never lasted. He just was never one to settle with just one person, possibly because they never held his interest for long beyond a sexual level. With Will though? He really wasn't just interested in the idea of sex. In fact, that terrified him. Yet he still found himself so drawn to him. Maybe that was a sign that he should try for something more than a brief physical connection. Still, he wanted to be careful about it. What if Will wasn't interested int he same things he was? "...well... what do you want it to mean for us?"
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 12, 2007 22:18:27 GMT -5
Will could feel his hope drop just slightly when he just barely noticed the frown that settled itself upon Gavin's face. It wasn't something he particularly wanted to see, opposed to the smile it had held earlier. Will realized at this that Gavin probably wasn't ready to talk about, being with another guy. Or, even being, truly being, with another person at the moment. He wasn't sure why he got the impression about the latter, but he did. And now, he felt stupid for bringing it up. It was a difficult thing, it seemed, for Gavin to want to speak about. And, truthfully, Will didn't completely want to either. He realized at this point that he'd really been desperate for a relationship fr the past few years, even though he had convinced himself that it would hurt to have any sort of commitment to any person again. They just wound up hurting you. Maybe not in all cases, but in every case in Will's life, that's what had occurred. He wanted a relationship, but at the same time, didn't. Not to mention the fact that he was just a little bit afraid of...anythign sexual. At least, at the moment. He'd been slightly afraid of it since Jasper tried to force it upon him when he was too young. Sure, 15 isn't terribly young, but far to young for Will. He didn't know what he wanted. He thought he did, but then realized... he didn't. He sighed sadly, and crossed his arms again. "I... I don't know," he admitted, glancing at Gavin for a split second before looking away. "I just... don't want to be hurt. I'm sorry if that puts you in an...uncomfortable sitatuon... but, I don't," he shrugged sadly. If Gavin's intentions were to hurt him, it would be best if he were out of his life right then. But, of course, he didn't think those would ever be his intentions. At least, he hoped.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 12, 2007 22:34:00 GMT -5
Gavin was starting to think he might know a little bit more about what had happened in Will's past. Especially concerning the person Will had started to mention before, this person who's name started with a J. He had probably hurt Will badly, emotionally, or even perhaps physically, and that had caused a lot of damage. Damage that it had taken Will a long time to even partially repair. Now he was scared to put his emotions on the line again. That was understandable. Now that Gavin was beginning to understand better, he began to realize that yeah, maybe he would like a relationship with Will... but would Will want one with him? The only way to see was to try. "Well... I know I wouldn't hurt you. I mean... that's about the last thing in the world I would want to do..." He surprised himself by thinking that right now, the most important thing in the world to him was Will. He'd just met him and he was already feeling emotions and thinking things he had never felt or thought before. And he honestly wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
|
|
William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Aug 14, 2007 20:34:54 GMT -5
It wasn't until that moment had Will realized that they were standing only a few feet down from the entrance of Starbucks, for a second he'd forgotten they were even downtown. He'd been nervous and anxious as he'd left the door, and after that, everything was kind of hazy, yet...happy. He'd forgotten about a lot of things in the past few minutes, just being around Gavin. So long had it been since he could truly feel that way. He didn't think he'd ever get that way around another person, but alas, he already had. Even in the short time they'd known each other. And, he could feel, just from the tone of Gavin's words that he meant what he said, about not hurting him. Not to mention the fact that he'd said it was the last thing in the world he'd want to do. He'd heard those words spoken before, but he realized now that there was something in Gavin's voice different from Jasper's. He felt like he could trust Gavin, like Gavin actually meant it; rather than just a few words that didn't mean a thing. Will looked down, shuffling his feet nervously. He was afraid of what to do next. He could kiss him again, but maybe it was too sudden after the words. "You... you really don't know how much it means to hear you say that," he told him finally, looking straight into his sincere eyes. It was the completely truth, but was it enough? He felt like he should say something different, something else. But, he couldn't think of the words. He normally never go this confused on what to say around anyone. It was never this difficult. But, with Gavin, it was.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Aug 20, 2007 21:52:20 GMT -5
Gavin found himself with a similar loss of things to say. Normally nothing could shut him up, but just being around William had a tendency to one of two things. Sometimes around him even he couldn't shut himself up, and other times he was left speechless and unable to organize his thoughts into coherent sentances. The fact that he had made William happy made him happy, but once again he found himself with nothing to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he decided to once again let his actions speak for him. Once again he leaned forward and kissed him. There was certainly one thing he would need to get used to. Gavin wasn't short, and he had always been taller than his girlfriends. He normally leaned down when kissing. With Will though, he found he had to strain himself a tiny bit to kiss the slightly taller boy. He wasn't sure why, but this struck him as funny, and he pulled away, laughing slightly. He found himself again entertaining thoughts of insanity.
|
|