My Friend and my stupid story

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

I figured I might as well post this on here, and get you guys' opinion on it. hehe. Its just a stupid story written by my friend allison and me for our friend Courtney's birthday. at least thats how it started. it turned intoa monster. I'll post like, the first two chapters prolly and maybe post the rest if anyone wants it. if not I wont clutter the boards. heeh.

Preface: Part One

“Fuck you! I’m not playing another solo! I ain’t your bitch you fucking crackhead!” Billie Joe ducked to avoid the cymbal, though both drumsticks managed to hit him in the head. The next moment he’d thrown his guitar to the ground and leaped over the drum set, his hands around Tré’s neck.
“They’re just kidding around!” Mike calmly assured the producer in the next room through his microphone. “Billie just likes to make Tré lose consciousness from lack of oxygen when he gives him lip.” The people in the control room exchanged horrified glances.
“I swear they’ll stop soon.” Mike remarked as he watched Tré attempt to pry Billie’s fingers off his neck. Tré soon brilliantly decided that the best course of action was to kick Billie in his ‘little Billie’. The guitarist let out a wounded yelp and released him to instead cup his injured body part.
“Hey Tré, nice aim for such a small target!” Mike interjected. Billie glared at him but didn’t speak, due to the pain. Tré laughed.
“Baby. It’s not like it hurts that much anyway.” Tré teased. Billie swore.
“Fuck you! It stings like hell!” Billie yelled at his bandmate.
Soon deciding that recording would be impossible after all that, the group left.
“Guys, come here!” Jason White yelled after them as they left. The trio hesitantly returned to speak to their tour guitarist. “Guys, your overly stressed. You fight constantly and LOUDLY. I think you need a vacation or something.”
“We don’t need one Jason!” Billie growled.
Jason sighed. “Beej, your gonna end up evicted with all those damn loud fights that happen during practice at your house. I mean, Adie tells me the neighbors are complaining damn near every night! Me and Adie discussed it and we hired out a campground at Yellowstone.”
Billie stared. “The fucking national park? No! I’m not fucking going to Yellowstone!” He yelled, as Mike and Tré nodded vigorously in agreement.
Less than 24 hours later, they were on their way to Yellowstone

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

Preface: Part Two

“Oh god, she’s killing me!” William Beckett screeched in his sleep.
“Wow! That was a six pointer!” Adam T. Siska said, as he was dealing out Candy Land® pieces. “He’s had louder ones, but that was pretty loud!”
“Who’s killing him? He looks pretty alive to me…” Mike Carden laughed.
“The evil Lord Licorice, of course!” Adam said.
“No, the Lord Licorice is a guy, Sisky! He said she’s killing me!” Andy Bishop Mrotek corrected the curly-haired bassist. “Judging by his expression, I think he’s having those dreams about that lady from The Nanny again.”
“Of course he’s having a nightmare about The Nanny! What else makes him scream in his sleep?” Mike said.
“Hmm… probably just about anything to with Sisky could make anyone scream in their sleep…” suggested Andy. “How do you know it’s not that?”
Adam frowned. “Not funny, Butcher. I…”
“Why, oh why?” MAKE IT STOP!” William shrieked, even louder than before.
“I think that one just broke the record so far!” said Mike.
“Will you guys stop screaming?” Michael Guy Chislett walked into the room. “I’m trying to sleep!”
“It’s not us screaming, Michael. It’s Bill. He’s having nightmares again.” Mike explained.
The Australian guitarist looked confused. “Oh. That’s Bill? Will then… I wonder if he knows I think he’s crazy…”
“I don’t know, but it all amuses me,” laughed Andy. “Come on Michael, lighten up. You’re missing all this! Come join our making fun of Bill party!”
“Alright…” Michael agreed.
“We’re playing Candy Land® too!” Adam said joyfully. “Here- you can be the yellow gingerbread man!” Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door that made William jump up in surprise and fall on the floor. The other members of The Academy Is… laughed hysterically at him.
“What…” William muttered, still half asleep. “Where’s Fran?”
“Ha!” Andy exclaimed. “Told ya he was having dreams about The Nanny!”
“PIZZA DELIVERY!” The person at the door called.
“What… why are we getting a pizza delivery at 2:00 in the morning?” asked William tiredly. “I’m going to sleep… wake me up when…”
“Oh!” Adam cried happily, “That would be for me!” He ran to the door and eagerly snatched the three pizza boxes out of the delivery boy’s hands. He then slammed the door shut.
“Excuse me sir, but you have to pay for your pizza!” The delivery boy called to him.
Adam opened the door again. “Give it to me free!” He shrieked in the pizza boy’s face. Then he started laughing maniacally.
Michael Guy rushed to the door and handed the pizza boy a large wad of cash. “Don’t mind him,” he apologized. “He’s just a little…” he glared at Adam.
“Screwed up?” suggested Mike. “Thanks, Mr. Pizza guy! Keep the change!” He gestured for the pizza boy to leave. When he was gone, Mike turned to William. “So, what happened with Fran tonight?”
“Well, I married her.” William said. Everyone started to laugh hysterically. “Then she was raping me out on the boulevard…”
“SHUT UP!” screamed Adam. “I wanna play Candy Land®! Hurry up, I’m not getting any younger!”
“Okay, okay! We’re coming!” said Mike. “Let’s get started now.”
“I get the first move!” cried Andy. All was going fine, until Michael Guy drew the evil card that sent him all the way back to… Plumpy the plum guy!”
“Ha-ha, you’re dead!” said Adam.
“No, I’m not dead! I just got back here!” said Michael angrily. “You can’t even die in Candy Land®!”
“Yeah you can!” Adam defended. “You can too die- what if you get stuck in a stick spot and Lord Licorice kills you?”
“Lord Licorice doesn’t kill you!” Andy said. “You can’t even die at all!” Adam glared at Andy and Michael. He picked up a piece of pizza and meant to throw it at Michael, who started this argument, but instead it hit Mike in the face.
“What the hell was that for!?” cried Mike, wiping sauce off his face. “I didn’t even say anything! But now that you already hit me with a pizza, I must agree with Michael and Butcher that you can’t die in Candy Land®! It’s a game about candy meant for four year olds! You can lose, but you can’t die!”
“Yes you can!” Adam stuck with his idea. “It’s…”
“Wow Sisky, I never knew you were so stupid!” said Michael.
“Fine, you stupid bastards! I’ll just have to wake Bill up and ask him! I bet he’d believe me…” Adam grabbed a water bottle off a nearby table, went over to where William was sleeping, and dumped all the water on William’s face. He woke up to see Adam, grinning at him with a water bottle in his hand.
“Adam! Stop waking me up! Fuck off and die!” he yelled in a voice that was half of a yawn.
“Sorry Bill, I just have a question. Can you die in Candy Land®?”
“Yeah… you can die… now leave me alone and stop pouring water on me!”
“YES!” Adam cried. “See? Someone agrees with me! HA!”
“You can’t die, though!” Michael protested. “You can lose, but you can’t die.”
“He’s actually right, Sisky…” said William. “You can only lose.”
“WHAT!? I thought…”
“Adam Siska, you’re an idiot.” William said disgustedly. “Get out of my life, please. You’re ruining it.” He rolled over and put is pillow over his head, and went back to sleep.
“FINE! No peetz for any of you!” Adam cried. He snatched the pizza boxes and stormed off, locking himself in the bathroom.
“Nice way to crush the kid’s dreams, Bill…” said Andy. “What are we going to go now? We don’t have a green gingerbread man anymore!”
“Who cares?” said Mike. He was losing miserably anyway. He couldn’t even understand the rules of the game.”
“No, actually, I was losing… I got sent back to Plumpy, remember?” said Michael.
“You were only two spaces behind him, though.” Mike said, “You would have caught up. And besides, you only got that card because Sisky cheated and looked at the cards, then refused to take the top one. You played fair, Michael. You’re the nice guy.”
“Yeah, but nice guys finish last…” said Michael.
“No, Sisky would have finished last.” Andy said, “He couldn’t even play the game… but I was crushing you all anyway. Look, I’m all the way up here by the molasses guy!”
Suddenly, there came another knock on the door. “Who is it?” called Michael.
“It’s me, Butch!” was the reply. “Open the door- I have some exciting news for you!” Michael ran to the door and let his close friend and producer Butch Walker into the room.
“Hey Butch,” he said. “What’s the news?”
“Well first, we have to get everyone to come.” Butch said, “Where are William and Adam?”
“William’s asleep, and Sisky’s having a tantrum in the bathroom,” said Andy. “You can to get them yourself- I’m not taking any more chances with them. If I try to wake William, he’ll fly off the wall!”
“Well, okay…” said Butch. “I’ll go wake Bill, but I’m not so sure about handling Sisky. He’s not so nice when he has tantrums!” Butch walked over to William’s bed and shook the sleeping singer gently. He woke up, but not as angrily as before (since a bottle of water hadn’t been poured all over him this time.)
“What do you want now?” he muttered sleepily.
“Hey Bill, it’s me, Butch! You might want to wake up- I have some important news for you and your band!”
“Alright… what’s the news?”
“Well, I can’t tell you now… I have to get Sisky first.”
“Well, good luck with that…” said William. “Mr. Siska is in a pretty bad mood at the moment…”
“I have an idea!” cried Andy. “SISKY!” he yelled. “Mike is eating a piece or your pizza that you accidentally left in here!”
Adam bolted out of the bathroom like lightning and attempted to punch Mike in the face, but instead he missed and hit himself in the eye. He then fell to the ground, crying in pain.
“Well, that worked… good thinking, Butcher!” said William, who was laughing so hard he was in tears.
“Ow…” Adam moaned. “What’s going on here?”
“Hey Sisky Business!” Butch greeted him. “I have some big news for you guys!”
“So you tell me my peetz is being stolen and make me get hurt?” Adam, who was clutching his hand over his right eye in pain, snapped. “That’s really nice of you…”
“Sorry pal,” apologized Andy. “It was the only way to get you to come out…”
“Just tell us the news, Butch!” Michael said eagerly. “I’ve been waiting long enough already!”
“He’s right!” Mike cried. “We are the waiting!”
“Oh, alright! I guess it’s time…” said Butch. “The Academy Is… is shooting a video at Yellowstone National Park! And you’ll be camping out there for a month as well!”

[William&Lili&Ryan™]

OH DEAR LORD.
That was fantasticaly amazing.
Wow.
lmao.
Hahah, so great.

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

hehehe Allison wrote the whole TAI bit. isnt she amazing? hehehe

[Mitchel||Trinity]

Haha.
That is SO awesome!
8)
I'm adding a fanfic/art section.
Fer sure.

[/size]

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

Chapter One

“Billie?”
The guitarist opened his eyes from where he lay slumped on a pile of dirt. “What Tré?”
“I’m hungry!” The drummer whined. Billie groaned and shut his eyes again.
“So eat.” There was silence for a few seconds.”
“Billie?” The voice said again.
With another groan, Billie sat up. “What?!”
“We forgot to pack any food.”
Billie realized this might just be a problem, considering they were on a month long trip, but decided to be calm about it. Calm was his middle name.
“So fish. You like to fish.” He suggested.
Tré just looked at him. “What do you expect me to fish with, my dick? I don’t have a fishing rod.”
“Yeah, sure, knock yourself out.” Billie said, before falling asleep. When he woke up he found that he was hungry. Now, before, the lack of food had been Tré’s problem. Now it was personal. What did he decide to do about it? The same thing any mature responsible adult would do in that situation.
“Miiiike! Feed me!” He whined to his friend. Mike glanced up from the book he was reading, which was pretty odd considering he was a man in his mid thirties and was reading The Princess Diaries.
“Well Beej, you see, I would let you eat my arm but I kind of need it to play bass with. Sorry.” Mike replied, before returning to his book.Billie scowled and crawled across the ground to Mike.
“You shouldn’t be mean to me when I’m starving to death.” He whined.
Mike sighed and looked at him. “If you’re that hungry take Tré and steal from another campsite.”
“But Miiike, if I get caught we’ll have a big mess on our hands!”
Tré, having overheard the idea, grabbed Billie by the arm. “Who cares? Let’s go!”
Mike looked up. “All right all right, slow down!”
Billie thought a minute. “Wait! Better idea! Somebody get my phone so I can-““
“No service here!” Tré yelled in a singsong voice. “Come on Billie! Chop chop! Let’s go!” With that, he dragged the guitarist away.

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

Chapter Two

The Next Day…

The Academy Is… had arrived at their campsite in Yellowstone and they were busy unpacking and setting up their tent…
“WILLIAM EUGENE BECKETT JR!” Screamed Andy, at the top of his lungs. “GET OVER HERE NOW!”
“What is it, Butcher?” William asked. He strolled over to where the drummer was sitting, next to a pile of clothes.
“Look at this!” Butcher snapped. “What’s with all these striped shirts? You were in charge of packing clothes for all of us, not just yourself!”
“That is for all of you…” William said innocently.
“Well, why is everything black and white striped? Are we all going to dress like William for the month? Follow your dress code? Bill! We’re all gonna look like a bunch of jailbirds hiding in the woods!”
“Sorry… and it’s not all black and white striped! Look- there’s a red and white shirt over here!” William defended.
“Oh alright- so we have one Waldo in a sea of jailbirds.” Butcher rolled his eyes and scowled at William.
“Ooh, can I be Waldo?” Adam said, as he came out of nowhere and walked over to see what all the arguing was about. “Should I hide and you can try to catch me?”
“What?” Butcher looked at Adam, wondering where he just came from. “We’re not actually being Waldo, Sisky…”
“But you just said you were playing Waldo and the Jailbirds!” Sisky looked very confused. (He also had a pretty bad black eye from when he accidentally punched himself the night before.)
Butcher sighed. “I didn’t say we were playing Waldo and the Jailbirds, Sisky. I don’t even think there’s anything called Waldo and the Jailbirds. I was jut saying that with the clothes Bill packed, we’re going to look alike a Waldo and a bunch of jailbirds hiding in the woods.” He pointed to the large stack of striped clothes.
“Oh, wait… I don’t wanna look like a jailbird! What if the cops think we’re hiding out here cause we escaped from jail and they arrest us?” Sisky said jokingly. “You’re such an idiot, Billiam Beckett!” He laughed.
“Well Sisky, I think you already look like a criminal or something with that hideous black eye you have. No- you don’t even look human! You look like some demented freak from outer space. So who you calling an idiot, Mr. “I punched myself in the face to defend a piece of PEEEETZ?” William snapped back angrily.
Sisky looked hurt. “What!?” He said, “I don’t…” He sat down on a log and hid his face with his hands in shame.
Butcher gave William a nasty look. “You are so mean, Bill! Why’d you have to go and tell him that?!” he cried.
“Oh, I’m mean?” William said. “When you’re the one criticizing me for bringing striped shirts? I’M the one being mean?”
“Yes, you are!” cried Butcher. “Sisky wasn’t even doing anything! He just walked in, not knowing what’s going on, made a comment and jokingly called you an idiot, just trying to go along with our conversation! And…”
“I never said Sisky was being meant!” William retorted. “You’re the one who was!”
“Oh, so you take your anger out on poor Sisky?” Butcher questioned. So now he’s a victim of…”
“No, I just told him the truth!” William cried. “I didn’t mean to make him mad- I thought he was too stupid to get offended! He’s…”
“Shut up, Bill!” Butcher said, “Why are you making fun of him when you’re mad at me? You could at least insult me and leave him out of this!”
“I’m not making fun of him, Butcher! I’m just saying the facts! His face is hideous with that bruise- he looks like a mutant!”
“Yeah, well that’s still mean! He can’t help it!” Said Butcher. Sisky, who had realized that Butcher was agreeing with William’s comments by saying “he can’t help it,” gave an extremely annoyed sigh and muttered “I’m gonna kill them…,” under his breath.
“He can help it, alright!” William said, “It’s his own fault for being such an idiot and punching himself!”
“Bill…” said Butcher, “I’m not going to argue about this with you anymore, because I have the feeling that Sisky is getting really pissed off at us right now. But anyway, about those shirts… I sure hope they’re not all yours, because there is no way any of us could possibly fit into your clothes, Mr. Toothpick Beckett. And be careful- if anyone sees you out here, they’ll think you’re a giant six foot stick dressed as a convict. Or, they might try to use you as a tent pole.” Sisky, who was still sitting on the log hiding his black eye in embarrassment, was so amused at this comment that he was laughing so hard he started crying and fell on the ground, hysterical. William, on the other hand, (who was indeed about 6’4” and very thin) wasn’t so amused. He glared at Butcher, looking as if he wanted to kill him.
“What… did… you… just… call… me…?” He growled at Butcher.
“Toothpick Beckett!” Butcher giggled. “Oh Bill, it’s so true… don’t try to deny it…”
“Hey Butcher, how would you like to look like Sisky right now?” William snapped defensively, making a fist.”
“No, that’s okay…” said Butcher.
“Then stop making fun of me!” cried William.
Sisky stood up. “He’s not making fun of you, Bill- he’s just saying the facts! You are a six foot toothpick! Face it!”
“Stay out of this, Siska…” William warned the bassist.
“Hey- I’m only imitating what you said about me!” said Sisky, “And by the way, I’d much rather have a black eye than be a freakish toothpick like you.”
“Toothpick Beckett!” Butcher teased, “Look at him, Sisky! The guy is a living stick!”
“I HATE YOU!” William screamed. He angrily kicked a rock and stormed off in fury.

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

Chapter Three

A few minutes later, Billie and Tré stood outside another campsite, trying to decide the best way to distract the people.
“But how do we do it?” Billie asked.
Tré considered. “A bear would probably be a good distraction.” Billie stared at him.
“How do we get a bear?” He questioned. Tré laughed.
“We don’t ACTUALLY get a bear. We fake it!” Tré declared. Billie bit his lip, obviously nervous about the whole idea.
“Come on Beej. Don’t be so scared. It’s harder for me. You just have to steal the food. I have to act like a fucking bear.” Tré reasoned.
“How are you gonna pull off a realistic bear?” Billie asked Tré. Tré shrugged.
“I’ve done it before. It’s a skill. Some people have it and other people don’t.” Tré explained. Billie, confident that they would fail, shut his eyes tightly and grimaced. “What are you doing Beej?” Tré asked.
“I’m getting mentally prepared for the consequences of this.” He replied.
Tré shook his head, and then walked over to the tent, before whipping out an ultra realistic bear roar. Billie blinked.
“Wow. He IS good.” He remarked to himself, and then went to the cooler. From it he stole a pizza, happy to have found the last one. He didn’t steal any drinks because, of course, they had remembered those. They certainly had priorities. He bolted and waited for Tré, but the drummer didn’t show. Billie swore. “Shit, they probably realized he wasn’t a bear and caught him!”

[Gavin/Sid/Holden]

Chapter Four

“Ahh, here we are at Yellowstone National Park.” Mike Carden said into a camera. “Welcome to Paradise, Michael Guy Chislett!”
Michael, who was taking the video, focused the camera on some trees. “These are trees.” He said, “I don’t know much about trees, but I know that they’re trees.”
“They’re not trees,” said Mike, “they’re extra-terrestrial being s from space.”
“Really?” asked Michael, “I think they’re more like UFOs.”
“They’re not flying though.” Mike said.
“Who know? Maybe they are.” Michael shut off the camera and sat down on a large rock. He looked up at the sky. “Wow, it’s so sunny out today!” he said.
“Yeah, I know… is there any water around here? It seems like a good day to go swimming- I’m so hot right now!”
“Yes you are!” replied Michael, “but don’t ask me if there’s water, I’m no expert on this place. But it is very hot out; I think I’m dying of heat!”
“I think it would help if you took that jacket off.” Mike laughed.
“Oh, right! I completely forgot I was even wearing a jacket!” Michael took the jacket off and threw it at Mike.
“Hey!” cried Mike, “Don’t bomb me with clothing!”
“Sorry…” Michael said, “Hey, look! A squirrel!”
“Really? Where?”
“Over there, on that rock!” Michael pointed.
“Oh, I see it!”
“It’s so cute! Take a picture of it!”
“You’re the one with the camera, Chislett…”
“That’s a video camera!” Michael said, “Oh, whatever- I’ll take a video.” He turned the camera on. “And this,” he said, “is a squirrel. Hello, Mr. Squirrel! What should its name be, Mike?”
“Bill.” Said Mike.
“Like Bill Beckett?”
“Yeah. It’s Bill’s namesake. Little Bill the squirrel.”
“Hi Bill!” Michael said in a squeaky voice, “I’m Michael Guy Chislett and this is Mike Carden!” He turned the camera off. “It’s so fuzzy, I want to keep it! I should. I should catch it and let Bill meet it.” Michael walked up to the squirrel and tried to pick it up, but it was too quick for him and it ran away.
“No, no, no!” said Mike, “You’re doing it all wrong! You’ve got to sneak up on it. Here- watch the pro.” Mike silently snuck up to where the squirrel was now, and quickly grabbed it. The squirrel bit his arm.
“OW!” Mike screeched. “It bit me!” Michael started laughing. Mike ran back to the rock Michael was sitting on. He showed his band-mate the bite.
“Look at that!” he cried, “It bit me! Ow! I’m bleeding!”
“Wow… that looks pretty bad… are you okay?” Michael looked concerned.
“Yeah, I think I’m okay, but I’m bleeding! Get me a band-aid!”
“I don’t have any band-aids!”
“Well, get me a leaf or anything to stop the bleeding, Chislett!”
Michael picked a leaf off a nearby plant. He rubbed it on his face. “This is soft… is this good?” he asked.
Mike stared at the leaf. “CHISLETT!” he shrieked, “No! That’s poison ivy!”
“It is?” asked Michael.
“YES! Put it down now, you idiot! You’re getting it all over your hands!” Michael shrieked and dropped the leaf.
“Oh no!” he cried, “Am I gonna get poison ivy?”
“I dunno, probably! You rubbed it all over your face! Go wash it off! Go! Now! Find a stream or something and wash it off!” Michael sprinted off to go find water, and Mike continued examining his squirrel bite.
“Ow… why did you have to bite me, Bill?” He whined to himself. A few minutes later, Michael came running back, soaking wet.
“I jumped in a river,” he explained.
“Yeah, I can tell.” Laughed Mike, “Now get over here and help me!”
“What do I do?” Michael asked.
“I don’t know! Give me something to stop the bleeding! And not poison ivy this time!”
Michael handed Mike his jacket. “Use this,” he said.
“I’ll get your jacket all bloody though!”
“I don’t care! Just use the damn thing, okay?”
Mike pressed the cloth on his wound. “Thanks,” he said. He thought for a moment. “Am I gonna get rabies, Michael?”
“Probably,” said Michael.
“Oh no!” screamed Mike. He started screaming and crying.
“Relax, Carden…” said Michael.
“But I’m gonna get rabies!” Mike whined.
“No you’re not! It was kidding!”
“I could, though! What if Bill is rabid?”
“I doubt Bill is rabid, Mike. Trust me, you’ll be fine. Stop worrying- you’ll get yourself all wound up. Now let’s just go back to the campsite and that bite cleaned up.” Mike and Michael walked back to the campsite, where Butcher and Sisky were still in the same place outside and William was busy moping in the tent.
“I still can’t believe Bill bit me!” said Mike, as he put a band-aid on this arm. “I thought he was nice!”
Butcher looked up. “What? Bill bit you!?” He shook his head. “I don’t know what his problem is… I just go have a little talk with that child.” He went into the tent, where William was sitting in a corner eating a sandwich, and stared down at the singer. William looked at him, wondering what he was doing.
“William, William, William…” Butcher sighed.
“What now?” asked William.
“Why did you bite Mike?”
“What are you talking about, Andy Mrotek!?”
“Why did you bite Mike Carden?” The drummer repeated.
“I didn’t bite Mike…” William was confused. “Why would I bite Mike?”
“I dunno, but you did… why? Are you okay, Bill? What’s gotten into you lately?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Butcher!” William said, annoyed. “I did NOT bite anyone!”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire…”
“Stop it, Mrotek!” William cried. “I’m not a liar!
“You lied.”
“No I didn’t! And I didn’t bite Mike either!”
“He said you did…”
“What!?” William threw the rest of his sandwich at Butcher. “Mike Carden, get over here now!” He yelled.
Mike casually strolled into the tent. “What?” he asked.
“Why did you say I bit you? I never…”
“I didn’t say you bit me, I said Bill bit me!”
“Umm, hello… Mike… I am Bill.” William put his head in his hands in confusion.
“Oh, sorry…” Mike laughed. “I said the other Bill bit me, not you!”
“What other Bill?” William asked.
“The squirrel…”
“What squirrel!?”
“A squirrel Michael and I took a video of… we named it Bill…”
“You named a squirrel Bill?” William rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, we named it after you, Billy Beckett!”
“Why did you name a squirrel after William?” Butcher asked.
“Because William’s awesome…” Mike explained.
William smiled, probably for the first time all day. “Thanks, Mike… but did you really get bit by a squirrel?”
“Yeah… me and Chislett were trying to catch it, and it bit me. It hurt.”
Michael, still soaking wet from when he jumped in the river, came into the tent. “Hello, guys…” he said. “I’m just gonna come in here, okay? It’s lonely out there.”
“Sisky’s out there,” said Mike.
“Yeah, but Sisky is in a really bad mood.” Butcher said. “If you have any sense at all, you’d stay away from him.”
“I know,” said Michael, “I tried to talk to him and he yelled at me. Why’s Sisky so mad?”
“Well, William wasn’t very nice to him earlier today,” explained Butcher, “and I think he really upset him.”
“Well you really made me mad with that toothpick comment.” William muttered.
“Sorry, Bill.” Bucher said. “You know I only said that because I was mad at you…”
“I know,” said William. “I only got mad because what you said was so true.”
“What did he say?” Michael asked William.
“He was just making fun of me because I’m a six foot tall toothpick.”
Mike laughed. “That’s mean… but I could certainly see why.” He smiled at William.
“Hey, I only said that cause you were making fun of Sisky’s black eye and telling him he looks mutated, and then insulting his idiotness.” Butcher said.
“His idiotness?” asked Mike, “So now you’re calling him an idiot?”
“We’re all idiots,” said Butcher, “except Michael, maybe.”
“No, I think Michael’s an idiot too.” said Mike. “After he tried to put poison ivy on my squirrel bite… and it was also his idea to catch the squirrel in the first place.
“Whose idea was it to name it after me?” William asked.
“Mike’s,” said Michael, “but I agreed.”
“Well thank you Mike and Michael,” laughed William, “I’m honored. And I’m so happy we’re not fighting anymore, Butcher…”
“Yeah,” Bucher agreed,” but it’s too bad Sisky is still so mad.”
“Try to get him to come in here,” said Michael. “We’re not complete without the whole band…”
“HEY, SISKY!” Mike called to the bassist. “Sisky Business! Come in here!”
“NO WAY!” Sisky replied angrily. “I am NOT going anywhere near that stupid toothpick! He ruins my life!”
“Wow Bill, how mean were you?” asked Mike.
William looked upset. “I don’t know… I can’t believe he got so offended though! I was in a bad mood, so that’s why I mad fun of him… but I feel so bad now!”
“Wait, he’ll probably talk to the rest of us,” said Butcher, “He’s only mad at Bill. If he doesn’t know you’re here, Bill, he’d probably come.”
“Why do we even need him here anyway?” asked William. “If the guy wants to be alone, then let him!”
“Bill, we don’t want him mad at you this whole trip!” said Michael.
“Yeah, but how’s he not going to know I’m here? What are you going to do- hide me or something?”
“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” said Michael.
“Where are we supposed to hide Bill in a TENT?” asked Mike.
Butcher pointed to a pile of blankets. “Bill, lie down very flat and be very still- we’ll put a blanket over you.” William lay down on the floor of the tent. Butcher put a blanket over him.
“We need more,” he said. “This one doesn’t cover him completely, he’s too tall.” He piled all the blankets over William, then started piling random objects on top of the blankets. “There, that’s good.”
“What are you thinking?” said William, his voice muffled by the blankets. “I’ll suffocate!”
“No you won’t- you’re fine.” Said Michael. “SISKY!” he yelled, “Come in here now! Toothpick Beckett’s not even in here!”
“Hey! You could have at least spared the toothpick comment!” William snapped.
“Sorry Bill…” whispered Michael.
“Really?” Sisky yelled back. “He’s not there? Then I’ll come, I guess…” Sisky reluctantly came into the tent, still hiding his eye with his hand. “What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” said Butcher, “we just wanted you to come in here with us.”
“Oh.” Sisky said. He sat down.
“Adam T. Siska.” Mike said.
“What?”
“Why are you hiding your eye?”
“’Cause I’m ugly…”
“No you’re not… well yeah, the bruise is ugly. But you can stop- we’ve already seen it. It’s not like we’re going to make fun of you or anything…”
Sisky reluctantly took his hand away from his face and grinned awkwardly. “It’s okay,” he said. “You could make fun of me if you want, if it amuses you that much. Just don’t actually try to be mean to me, because I don’t like that.”
Michael looked kind of confused, because what Sisky said didn’t really make much sense. “Sisky looks like a raccoon,” he teased lightheartedly. Sisky crawled up to him and bit him, then hissed and scampered away, giggling.
“Ow! What was that for?” asked Michael.
“I’m a raccoon!” Sisky explained. He then started laughing hysterically and rather creepily.
“So Mike…” said Michael, “you got bitten by a squirrel, and I got bitten by a… siska.” Mike nodded, staring at Sisky. He was kind of freaked out. Sisky was completely spazzing out, lying on his back and laughing maniacally.
“Are you okay, Sisky?” Mike asked him.
“Yes, I am fine… why?” Sisky replied, grinning at Mike. He then began laughing again and muttered something about Pizza Hut, then started repeating the word “sisky” in a weird voice.
“I think there’s something wrong with you, Sisky…” laughed Mike, “You’re…”
Sisky frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with me,” he said, “this is how I’m supposed to be!” He paused for a second, then said, “Sisky Business!” in another odd voice and started laughing maniacally and somewhat evilly with his eyes wide open staring up at nothing. It was very creepy. Mike laughed and patted the crazy little spazz on the head. Sisky was acting very strangely- but at least he was happy again.
“Hey, you guys…” Mike started to say, and then he stopped mid-sentence.
“What?” asked Butcher. “What’s wrong, Mike?”
“Listen- does it sound to you like something’s sneaking around outside our tent?”
“Yeah, it does!” said Michael. “It’s fine- it’s probably just an animal.”
“It sounds like it’s doing something!” said Mike.
“Don’t worry, Mike,” said Butcher, “We’re in the woods. There are lots of nocturnal animals in the woods.” They listened again, and heard something walking around. It sounded like it was going very slowly and sneakily. Sisky started giggling hysterically for no reason again, but he didn’t say a word.
“Sisky, be quiet!” whispered Mike. “We’re trying to…” suddenly, they heard a very loud and ferocious roar that sounded like an angry bear. William, who had been hiding this whole time, was so startled that he screamed loudly and jumped up, revealing himself.
“William, what are you doing here!?” cried Sisky. “I don’t want to see you, Toothpick! I am LEAVING this tent right now!” he started to get up, but Butcher grabbed his arm and stopped him.
“Sisky! NO!” he cried. “Are you crazy? There’s an angry bear out there! If you leave the tent, you’ll get killed! How stupid are you?” Sisky sat down stubbornly and crossed his arms. He made a face at William. The bear roared ferociously again. Sisky shrieked and threw his arms around Butcher, trembling fearfully. William jumped and hid himself under the blankets again. Michael shrank into a corner, breathing heavily in terror, and Mike sat still, petrified. Butcher just tried to breathe as the bassist clung tightly to him in fear. He finally gave up and pushed Sisky away from him and ran to the back of the tent to hide. Sisky, still fearing for his life, dove under the blankets William was under and hid himself behind the singer.
“Hide me, Toothpick!” he whispered. William nodded to Sisky, shaking. The bear roared meanly again. In the middle of one last roar, it cut off and screamed, “FUCK! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Did that bear just swear at us!?” asked Mike.
“Yeah, I think it did!” William whispered from his hiding place. He started hugging Sisky in fear. Sisky was trembling uncontrollably, and William could feel the bassist’s heart pounding in terror. (Was Sisky still mad at him? It didn’t seem like he was at the moment, but again, he was probably too terrified to think, let alone be mad at anyone. William hoped their fight was over- he already felt horrible for being so mean. Sisky being mad at him just made him feel worse. Plus, he did not like being referred to as “Toothpick” at all...) Everyone screamed.