William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
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Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Sept 10, 2007 22:35:59 GMT -5
Will felt so stupid, so pathetic, crying on the bathroom floor. Little teenage girls did that. But, he knew that he did act like one sometimes. And, apparently this was one of those times. He felt like an idiot, and he felt that nothing he ever did would be good enough for anyone. It had been like that with his father, and then with Jasper. The only thing he could figure that now, when there was a new person in his life, he just assumed he wouldn't be good enough for them either. It was selfish thinking, really, that the only reason Gavin didn't want to be seen with him was because he wasn't good enough. He just couldn't seem to get it through a thick skull that Gavin had never liked another guy before him, and had defiantly never been with one. He knew that that was the truth, but he still found a way to make it all his fault. These thoughts just made the tears come harder, making him feel even more stupid than he already did. what was wrong with him? Why was he so pathetic? He hated pretty much every single thing about himself, yet couldn't' take it in that Gavin liked him, he really did. Will hiccuped into the tears, until he heard the familiar swinging of the bathroom door opening. He turned, finding another fault in his plan, because Gavin could see him, and could see his tears and his pathetically. Before he knew it, and before he was ready, Gavin had taken him into his arms and was trying to comfort him. It wasn't going to help him now, not when he was so convinced that he was everything wrong for Gavin. "Let go," he said through the sobs. "I'm not good enough for you, just let me go!" he said, attempting to push Gavin's arms off of him, but wasn't very successful. He had almost no muscle, and no strength in his body anyway from throwing up. Even so, all he wanted to do now, seeing Gavin, was throw up again. There was probably nothing left in there. "I can't gain anymore, you'll hate me, that's the reson you don't want to be with me. I know it," he said angrily and sadly all in one, not pushing anymore, and not really feeling anything. Just crying, shaking his head, wanting to escape Gavin, but not having the strength.
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Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Sept 10, 2007 22:44:45 GMT -5
Gavin let go of him almost immediately. He didn't want to, but Will had reacted so badly, he felt like he had to. "Will..." He mumbled softly, staying near him but no longer touching him. He knew that there were times when he didn't want to be touched, and he could understand that this was one of those times for Will, but he wasn't about to leave him alone entirely. "If anything your the one that's too good for me. Hell, you could probably have your pick of anybody. I'm lucky you gave me a chance..." He reached out and gently touched the side of Will's face for a moment, before pulling back again. He wasn't going to touch him until Will was calmer. He didn't want Will angry at him, or to push him to do anything he didn't want. "And I don't think I could hate you if I tried Will... not that I would... I want to be with you. I want things to work with you and me probably more than I've ever wanted a relationship to work." He spoke, trying to show his sincerity in his voice. He wanted more than anything for Will to know that he liked him, and just how much he already cared about him.
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William&Lili&Ryan™
Old School Ninja
Best of de Best
Just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease.
Posts: 181
|
Post by William&Lili&Ryan™ on Sept 11, 2007 19:25:07 GMT -5
With Will's lack of sanity, he was surprised that Gavin even wanted to be around him, besides the fact that there was still that sureness in the back of his mind that he wasn't good enough for him. There were plenty of reasons for Gavin to leave right then and there, and he easily could. Will was a mess, his arms crossed over his nonexistent stomach as he tried to stop himself from crying any harder. He heard Gavin's words, and wanted to believe them, but for some reason, getting so intimate with him before had brought out the fears in Will's mind. The fears and the doubts, the ones that kept him from being sane when it came to relationships. He felt insane at the moment, especially with the way Gavin acted, like he had to be careful around him. As he calmed himself down, and reasoned to think logically, he was thankful that he'd remembered to flush the toilet, even in his state. Gavin would have seen it and possibly known, just making everything harder. He'd almost admitted to purging, but it didn't seem like Gavin quite understood, another thing he was incredibly thankful for. Making things more confusing would not be favored. Especially when he was almost sure he'd ruined things. Will closed his eyes and silenced himself and his tears before opening them to a concerned Gavin. He hadn't run, which was what most people did. "Gavin," he said in a hoarse whisper. "Gavin, I'm sorry, I'm insane," he said, trying to muster up a laugh, but it came out as more of a hysterical outburst, he'd even scared himself. "I just... I don't know what's wrong with me," he said, putting his head in his hands, before looking back up at Gavin. He knew what was wrong with him, he did, in the back of his mind. He just couldn't seem to be good enough for anyone to love, or even care about. But, the sincerity in Gavin's voice, for some reason, was almost reassuring him. He wiped the last tears from his eyes, sighing. "I want things to work out, too, so much." Will's mood had changed so much over the course of a few minutes, he was afraid that he might really be going insane. Or, maybe he was just letting everything get to his head...
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Post by Gavin/Sid/Holden on Nov 21, 2007 0:32:17 GMT -5
Gavin reached over and pulled some toilet paper off the roll in the stall, handing it to William so he could have something to wipe his face clean of tears other than his hands. "Will, your not insane and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you..." He chanced a smile, trying to give him a bit more confidence and cheer him up as best he could. He had already noticed a very definite things. When Will was happy, Gavin was happy, and when Will was sad, Gavin felt terrible. Right now all he wanted to do was make whatever pain had caused these issues that were plaguing Will go away. He wished he had the power to just wave a magic wand and make Will's pain disappear, but he didn't. The next best thing, he thought, was words. With words he could at least attempt to boost Will's confidence and make him happier. "You're amazing, inside and out." He knew he probably sounded cheesy, like a hallmark card, but he didn't care. He was being honest, and apparently honesty for Gavin was cheesy sometimes. "I never met someone that I really loved to talk to like you. You make me laugh, and I love seeing you happy..." He went quiet again for a moment, and then shrugged, as if unsure how he wanted to continue what he was saying. "and if I want things to work out, and you want things to work out... then I think the only possible thing we can do is try. I mean... I know I want to try... What do you think? Are we going to at least attempt it or just give up?" He asked this question simply to allow Will to back out if he needed to. Gavin knew that he would be devastated if Will did choose the latter, but he tried to hide the worry he was feeling. He didn't want Will to feel pressured, and if Will didn't want to try and make a relationship happen, Gavin didn't want him to feel like he had to.
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